I just cant describe this awful feeling of loneliness. I had one of the greatest weekends in a long time. We had so much fun, hanging out and sleeping, and everything that goes into being with your best friend.

Now she is gone and literally feels like a have nothing left, my body feels heavy, my stomach feels week, and i have no drive what so ever. she is my other half, and she completes me. I dont care how scattered, or crazy, or imperfect she is...she is mine. I love every ounce of her and i need her just as much as she needs me.

this weekend has me so excited to live with her....no more short weekends and horrible good byes, just the fights of living with each other! haha i would rather have that in my life then emptiness.

we got this babe :] i love you

I miss you


Not only because its been a week since i last saw you
Not only because the amazing sex
Not only because of the way we touch
Not only because we are best friends
Not only because we laugh at everything

I miss you because there are so many times in my everyday life where i stop and think i wish you were right here next to me doing the same thing. Every thing i do without you feels wrong, everything without you doesn't have any meaning. Time doesn't tell how much i miss you, but things i wish you could be doing with me does.

I'm so sorry i have been not steven, and i am sorry i have let you down. But as time creeps on i hope you can stop and notice how i have gotten better, how i do this not only for but because i want to. And i hope you realize that your all i have in this fucked up world and i need you.

I am willing to go to any length, run any distance for you. I'm here for you as you are for me, you are the love of my life.

Just so content right now i just need her, she is my soul mate, my better half....

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more
and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind.

Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in,
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out,
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.

Spiral out. Keep going, going...